Banish The Relationship Devil!

Red Devil's PitchforkAre you worried about your children, parents, partner or pets? Does 3:00 a.m. find you ruminating about an exchange with a co-worker or client?  Are you scared you are somehow screwing up your spiritual relationship by not meditating enough, or just right? 

I think we all engage in these crazy-making, sleep-depriving worries.  Why?  We don’t want to be the ones that “mess up” a relationship.

When I decided to heal my body rather than undergo immediate surgery to remove a growth in 2010, I discovered a brand new relationship to be concerned about.  The one I have with my body.

I’m in Love!

Let me be very clear: this is a brand new way for me to be with my body!  I’ve lobbed grenades of loathing about one body part or another since I was eleven and got my curves on.

And here’s the real deal, my darlings.  The relationship we have with our body is our longest relationship.  From the day we discovered our toes and fingers, we have been in a relationship with our body.

Before the Fall

Unfortunately, I used to treat my body as an enemy of war.  I harangued myself about my curvy booty, jiggling belly and the double-chin-effect of a square jaw. If my jeans felt too tight, I’d buy shoes rather than face the size rack and a badly lit dressing room.  And ya’ll, this was when I wore a size 6.

Worst of all, I harangued while ignoring all the good stuff others pointed out to me – clear skin, charming smile, great calves, and one big heart. 

In The Middle

I didn’t want to keep blaming the media for my harangues so I stopped reading magazines whose covers screamed there was something wrong with me. 

To halt the gym mirror comparisons, I let my membership lapse and laced up my sneakers and took to running solo.

I even engaged with that assignment we coaches give to clients all the time – yep, I listed 100 things about me I love!

Partnership VS Dictatorial

In my 20’s and 30’s, I dictated a hard-core training regimen with Spartan eating habits. Now, I ask AND listen to what food my body really wants. Why?

When a growth appeared on my right ovary in 2010, I knew my body had a powerful message to give me.  So I learned to listen.  I honored what my body said it wanted.  I didn’t have the surgery because in three weeks the growth shrank by half its size.  In another three weeks it was gone.

In all my body exploration and loving myself into health, I developed a powerful alliance … a partnership with my body.  More importantly, I’ve learned to decode the messages in my aches, pains, sprains, breaks, growths …and hot flashes!   

All Hallows Eve Body-Bonus!

Hallows Eve is known as a banishing / earth cycle completion time.  I say this is an excellent time to banish, forever and ever amen, one of the harangues you launch into about YOUR body.

So, right out of my journal, an exercise for you to exorcise a body demon!

What part of your body are you at war with?  Got it?

  1. Take a deep breath right now and focus on that part of your body.  What do you feel there?  (Often, we carry tension or numbness in our least favorite body parts.)
  2. Assume there is something to love about this body part.  What is it?  Take another breath and consciously give your love to this body part, inviting it back into the fold of your inner circle of love. 
  3. Be gentle with yourself.  You are not wrong or bad for being at war with this part of your body.
  4. The next time the harangue begins about this part of your body – stop, breathe and consciously love it.

“Rinse and repeat,” as often as necessary!

Sending you a swish of body and self-love,



  1. I’m turning 50, and the only thing I haven’t been celebrating is the change in my FACE. Sag. Lines. Undereye circles. It’s just not the face of a young woman anymore, despite my youthful spirit! So this exercise was great. I will repeat, and repeat, and repeat until I have folded my face back into my love!

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